Me: Do you remember what I told you in Publix that one time, back when we first started hanging out? (I had told him that I wanted to kill myself)
Me: I still struggle with that. I struggle a lot with self injury.
Him: What I’m about to say I want you to answer truthfully with your heart. I know you said you were moving. If I ask you to stay will you? If you commit to me, I promise that I’ll never break your heart. That I’ll always be there for you and never abandon you. If you’ll do the same for me. We can be together here, if not here we can find a home of our own in another town. I just want to be with you because you make me happy. I want you to stay with me. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. I don’t want to to do that kind of stuff to yourself. That’s a problem we can fix. If you want t be with me truthfully. I won’t let you down. No not this time. I’ll never find another person like you, and I don’t want to have to search for one.
Oh god, I’m crying now. Someone please tell me when I got a heart.
I’m a slight bit drunk, and I just want someone to cuddle with me.
Alcohol is all I have these days.
The guy I love just told me today that he doesn’t like the person I am, and that we can never be together because of that. Now I feel like I’ve been led on again. Up until today it’s been all “I love you” and “You are the only thing I have keeping me sane and happy”. But yet today it’s just not good.
I’m not promiscuous, I don’t drink all the time. These are things that he just never asked for the truth about.
Maybe I just shouldn’t be around people.
All I can do is fuck things up.